Friday, April 25, 2008

Please tell me why this happened.

My intentions for this post started simply enough. On Wednesday, I shared some short scenes from Period: The Play ®, the production that is soon to take Waukegan, Illinois - and then subsequently the world - by storm. I couldn't help but notice that perhaps the dialogue was a little, er, progressive - yeah, we'll go with progressive - for this blog is eggsalady's visitors that day, particularly the readers with phalli.

Naturally, I panicked. If P: tP ® alienates roughly 50% of the world population, does this spell inevitable doom for the show's impending hereafter? I'm not going to lie; I've been in a veritable tailspin since Wednesday at approximately 4:46 pm. But things in my head went from bad to re-abandoned by Wolf Blitzer in about 2.2 seconds. You see, in my moment of darkness, I speculated upon what to do - to whom I should turn. Suddenly it dawned on me: the people most likely to provide me assistance in this specific brand of menstrual alienation - and this is such a no-brainer - Blossom and Six, of course! In short: WWB&SD in this sitch? I racked my brain in order to envision scenarios in which Blossom and Six fought the man and came out on top. There were, naturally, a million amongst to choose. But, I went to the internet to find the very best of the Blix wisdom. Anyway, I am going to try to cut to the chase here as: a) my cerebrum can't take much more; and b) I don't want to drag this out for you because you deserve so much more.

Here it is, friends. My search for the sage advice of Blossom and Six led me to this:

Um, yep. Somebody skanked up Six. I don't even know where to go now. I am seriously flummoxed. Where is Six's floppy hat, and why is she wearing Tiki Barber's legs? Anyway, maybe you already knew about this, but you forgot to tell me. And then I found out in my time of need. I am more confused now than I was before. I just don't understand.

will this help? Let's see.:


damon said...

Sorry to hear of your recent alienation. And who would have thought that even Six and Blossom would disappoint you in your time of need.
I find Re-run and Dee to be comforting at times. Although now I'm terrified to google them, in fear I might find Re-run in a thong.

maybe this helps- click

Meg said...

I'm a bit lost on the Six and Blossom stuff.

But seeing The Vagina Monologues has desensitized me from both "C" words-the male and female ones. I would spell them out here, but I'm not sure everyone out there is desensitized.

Alice said...

Don't they have Photoshop for whatever is happening with her thigh?

(And yet I say this knowing that my thighs probably look like that.)

Mat Garretson said...

Eeeew. It would appear that, these days, Six is packing.

Freddy said...

I think Six only know why it sad.


I'm sad that my life dream of becoming a backup dancer for Joey Lawrence never materialized. :(

This Blossom-laden post just dredged up all those old feelings I tried so hard to forget.

I still sign my name as Elastic Lawrence.

Steph said...

Maybe you just need to channel your inner Six and make sure you channel the one with the floppy hat instead of the tramped up version. Maybe?

what's a donzer said...

Damon, I appreciate the support. you know, for me it was always Shirley that provided the perfectly-sassy wisdom, but I applaud your turn to RR and D in your time of need. Hee hee - ReRun in a thong. I'm not scared...I'll keep you posted...

Meg - Don't ever be afraid to say what's on your mind at this blog is eggsalady. I must say, though, desensitisation of the "c" must be quite a letdown. :)

Alice - I sooo agree. And, if that's you that we're watching as you walk away from us, your thighs are sooo not Six material!

Yes, Mat. Six is indeed packing. And we are all the worse for it.

Freddy: theories? I hate (hahaha) to just assign drug habits to D-list celebrities on a whim, but, in this case, I am hoping it was the beginnings of a meth habit that led our Six down this path.

Elastic Lawrence, WHOA! You made my day. Never let your fantasy die. Never.

Steph, I am trying. I am trying. But, alas, it is so, so hard to get those thighs out of my mind.