Making trillions the old fashioned way.

There are some really dope benefits of not being a member of the old establishmentarian workforce - namely, being available on a full-time basis for the Judge Judy power hour. But, there's one pretty essential thing that I miss about the old 9 to 5. Two words: spending cheese. My mom always taught me that it was rude to talk about money. If I had any, I guess that quaint little rule could apply. Since I don't, I think I can carry on with this post. In my head, I now picture you clasping your bosom, tossing your head back and inquisitively mentally-menstruating something such as this: "Come again? You mean this blog is eggsalady is not raking in the doughskies to bankroll not only your daughter's future college and/or meth habit fund, but also the funds for any subsequent daughters that she begets in the future?" Child, please. But, don't get any stress marks worrying about the Donzer family, because we have a new business venture in the works, and we are going to make trillions. Trillions, I say!

Let me provide a little background for you. Just today, I was taking in a baseball game when I spotted a man freaking commanding what could only be described as a pretty damn respectable mullet. All of a sudden, I was bludgeoned by this overwhelming wave of sentimentality, for I understand that mullet-spotting is so played out. It's no longer even ironic to turn to your cuz and go, "Check out that sweet mullet over there," because your buddy would yawn, scratch his ass, take a bite of his corndog, and then finally turn his eyeballs to whereever your were pointing, because, you know, mullet spotting is so 2001. I think that's mullshit. I just don't think the mullet market has been tapped the way that God intended. And that blows. My husband concurs. That is why we are starting a new adult entertainment company called Mullatio Enterprises. I don't portend to know your personal preference, but who amongst us has not fantasized about being on the giving or receiving end of some hot mullatio action? And we're heading into this full speed ahead; indeed, our business plan is already humming along. I'll give you the blow by blow: We're thinking we keep it small in the beginning - maybe some mags, a calendar or two, a few dozen videos. My husband is turning in his two weeks at work today so we can work full time on our new moneymaker. As for me, I'm stepping out into the public for phase one of the full-on Mullatio Drafting Blitzkrieg. I've got the new business cards printed to hand out at various locales tomorrow, including (but not limited to) Krystal, Hardware Heaven, Dan's Fan City, Buy Lo, the Howard Johnson's parking lot, and the Golden Griddle. Here's my heavy hit:

If you think that you would be a match for our intiative (as a spokesmodel or a shareholder), or if you know anyone who may be interested, please let me know. And, spread the word about Mullatio - after all, the oral tradition is still the most effective means of communication. I don't think it's too bold to assert: Mullatio is the wave of the future. Come on - head to where the action is!

it may still be busted, but let's see how many clicks it takes us to see humor-blogs up and running, again!