Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sexy Programmer Thursday: Passion Explosion Version 5.0

It is on, my friends. It is sooo on. I am bursting at the seams to bring you this week's technology aphrodisiac; that's right, it is that sublime time of the week once again when we are slapped upside the head with a heapin helpin' of libidinous protocol. Grab a chair and hold what you got, because you are about to meet one of the most luscious kernels of love to ever hit Sexy Programmer Thursday.

Our beefcake of the week is a feast for the eyes hailing from the other side of the pond. Meet the hottest British Studasaurus to ever hit the free software operating system arena: Well, hello there, Alan Cox. You say free software, I call it free love; what's the difference? Our hunka hunka codin' love is one of the most important (I think the most important, but nobody asked for my opinioneering) developers and maintainers of the Linux kernel and dominators of Red Hat, Inc. Oh, Alan. You tease us so.

Our master seductionist is working his magic, indeed! Alright, alright: I'll cut to the chase and get to the goods. Here are a few TANTALIZING TIDBITS about our red hot red hat, Big (Alan) Cox:

1. Though the crazy wack mistress, the internet, keeps forcing me to compare Our Amazing Alan to another Linux engineer, Linus Torvalds, I say that Cox Rocks, and he compares to NO ONE! Look how Alan schools Linus, our hot programmer's adversary: "Sometimes I don't agree with his big picture, but since the debates are always technical issues it can always be solved by actual code." We don't doubt, at all, Alan, that you are the coder rocking the BIGGER picture! Snarl! And, on that note, I am sure I am not alone in thinking that Coxix would be a far bosser name than Linux, am I right, my peeps?

2. Our boy is looking out for you, Free World! He's a sensual supporter of programming freedom. We, too, fancy keeping people's paws OFF software patents and user interface copyrights, Coxy, but we can't help but daydream about our needy paws grazing you!

3. While we imagine being served up a heaping helping of Alan A'la mode, he is busy perfecting his mad chef skillz. Mmmmm! Flambe' the hotness, why don't you, Al? In particular, cuisinalicious Cox hollaz that he's "been having fun trying to figure Chinese, Mexican and Indian cookery." What I wouldn't give to have AC steaming up my kitchen sporting his apron and chef hat. Aaaaaah. Can somebody flip on the fan? It's getting hot in here.

4. When he's not sexying up the kitchen, he's making plenty of stems rise outdoors, as he's heating up the garden. Alan's "been trying to stop things growing and pruning them." Did you just say "prune", Alan? I've got a thing or two that needs some pruning, you hottie. Check this: "at the moment [his plants] are growing quite well enough without assistance." Oh yeah? Well you can plant your seed around here anytime, Alan. ANY time!

5. Finally, succinct, spicy Alan spews profound messages for the masses, and readers, this particular thought wad is not blown on Yours Truly. On January 3, 2008 at 2:41 a.m., our manmeat opined, "Repeatedly posting crud does not make it right." Oh, Alan, are you trying to send me a message, because I get it - loud and clear! I'll change for you, Alan! I will!

I'm thirsty: I'll take a Gallon of Alan and call it a day! My friend, you are one tittilating addition to Sexy Programmer Thursday! Oh, Cox the Fox: how will any other programmers compare to your brand of sexy?

Need a laugh? How about hitting up here: or here:
Oh, one more thing: It just so happens that today, on this most appropriate day of hotness, my supersexy programmer husband turns 30. So, Happy Birthday, Old Man! You rock this browser's cache like nobody's business!


cory said...

Confession time... When I first saw this, I felt a slight twinge of beard envy.

Then I saw this (look closely... no, thats not a turtleneck)

and this

and this

Turning 30 and being slapped in the face with the realization that you will never be able to make a windmill scene with your beard all in the same day. That, my friend, is a what you would call a 1 on the Mellish Meter.

Freddy said...

LOL..Love the Chinese restaurant sign and what a Sexy Programmer! I wonder what the Queer Eye guys would do with him...oh away...
You've out done yourself! Awesome.

Happy Birthday Mr. Eggsalady!

cory said...

Much obliged Freddy!

My coworkers took me to Poon King for lunch today to celebrate. I tried to call Mrs. Eggsalady while we were there to let her know but I couldn't get her to pick up the phone. Oh well, I'm sure she was busy doing something else.

Richard said...

Wow, now I know where the missing member of ZZ Top ended up!

You have razed the bar again. You should do a post on what you look for in a "Sexy Programmer" so we can all aspire to achieve this great honor.

Anya said...

Oh, hell yeah! I want it to be called Coxix...except then my husband would want to name our first born little coder Cox...or Coxey. Hmmmm...

OK, and too weird, my sexy programmer just turned 30, too! We better not be swapping the same codeslinger.

And I've got some up and coming programming demigods for you. Check out the list here:

They're not afraid to lay it on the table, start flamewars, or sneak in a little political debate while they tell each other that their technology has died.

what's a donzer said...

Cory - Maybe turning 30 is the turningpoint in your life when you will be able to grow more than just a rockin neck beard. I'll cross my fingers for you.

Freddy - Cheers! I'd hate to try the sweet and sour shrimp in that Chinese restaurant!

Richard - you are correct; every girl is crazy about this sharp dressed man. And, as long as a programmer is "BSG"ish, he's good to go.

Anya - thanks for the link - programming demigods, indeed. It's like the IT version of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Oh -and I think you and our shared husband should embrace Coxy. Any Alan Coxian-inspired baby would probably be the coolest kid on the monkey bars!