Sunday, March 23, 2008

It's time turn away from the melons.

Warning! Warning! This is a very important up to the second warning!

A rogue salmonella outbreak traveling in a round, juicy vessel is currently smiting North America and is threatening to spread its poisonous secretions throughout the world! 50 Americans and 9 Canadians have become sickened by dirty, plump Honduran canteloupes, and the FDA is warning YOU, readers, to toss your sweet, luscious melons as though they were yesterday's spoiled milkjugs. Do not, I repeat, do NOT suck the juice from these accursed rotund fruits. Please do not take this warning lightly.

In unrelated news: My, Angelina Jolie's Madame Toussaud wax likeness has incredibly lifelike nipples, eh?

For more succulent goodness, visit here -, and also here -!


Daniel said...

>>>>cantaloupes from a Honduran manufacturer

I'm no expert here but when last I checked melons were grown.

I'm guessing that these artificially manufactured melons are very far from organic.

what's a donzer said...

Sadly, America's youth is being sent the message that all natural melons just aren't good enough anymore.