Monday, March 17, 2008

To all the Pats I've loved before...

It’s the seventeenth o’March, when we all give mad props,
To a Saint whom we honor by getting sauced off of hops.
Yes, SaintPatrick was fly; we all can agree,
But there are other sexy Pats hella dope, can’t you see?

As John Luc Picard, Patrick Stewart owned the Starfleet,
And, look, in a loincloth he reveals his sweet man meat.

That Slammin’ Pat Sajak is master of the Wheel,
Our host with the most drips and drops sex appeal.

Patrick Duffy is a stud many fans dreamed of doing,
When he played JR’s brother, smoking hot Bobby Ewing.

Pat Summitt makes us hot, as she coaches chick Vols,
That’s her pictured left, all surrounded by balls.

Men, ladies, dogs, ferrets, they’d all be mad crazy,
If they didn’t admit hardcore love for Pat Swayze.

And our homie Pat Morita, may his soul rest in peace,
As in peace as Miyagi looks between those two teets.
Patrick Ewing is the balla who sent chills through our joints,
As he scored each of those 24,815 points.
No one rocks Stockholm Syndrome like our girl Patty Hearst,
Of all hot kidnapped gun toters, this honey comes in first.
There are still droves of us who oft dream of caressing,
Manly man Pat Buchanan drenched in creamy Ranch dressing.

And our old friend just Pat - perhaps lady, perhaps dude,
Well who cares what it is – ‘cause we’re still in the mood.

Hottie Governor Deval Patrick from whom Obama ripped speeches,
Keep your hands off him people; he’s mine, all you beetches.

So, today when you toast our Saint Paddy with me,
Remember all the other other worthy Pats in the sea.
err, I may have already gotten into the Guinness. Let's raise our glasses to this:


bagel said...

Happy Patty's Day!

I went to to come up with additions for your list, when something caught my eye:

Most Popular Profiles
1. Saint Patrick
2. Barack Obama
3. Martin Luther King, Jr.
4. Miley Cyrus
5. Adolf Hitler

I love that list.

dub-b said...

Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig, Donzer!

what's a donzer said...

Hello, there, bagel! This is the greatest list ever! Hannah Montana bested you yet again, you genocidal tyrant, Adolf Hitler!

Top of the morning to you, dub-b! An bhfuil tú ar meisce fós? I am!

Freddy said...

Love your blog! Funny stuff. I actually have the WWW Dick Cheney robot cover hanging in my bathroom with several others. They make great art! Haha. I miss that magazine!...I'm adding you to the blogroll on my blog -!
Keep it up!
Funny list Bagel:)

what's a donzer said...

Awesome! Thanks, Freddy! I, too, have been perusing your blog and love what I have been reading. Being a tremendously glamorous former furniture salesperson,I know a thing or two about assity customers.

When I finally put up my blogroll, you're so on there.