Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sexy Programmer Thursday: Libidinous Utopia Version 11.0


It's a very special day, indeed. Today, of all days, you and I are allowed to get down and get nasty, and there is no shame in our desires. For, today, our technology dreams come true. Our arousal codes are enacted, and our search engines are all kinds of fired up. Yes, yes, yes: it has been fourteen days since our thirsts have been quenched; it has been far too long since we have visited our coders of love. But, it is finally time, once again, to visit that salacious day of heavenly tingles: Sexy Programmer Thursday.

Today's lust sandwich with extra yum on the side is a different kind of programmer. Our featured lovah has not reinvented the wheel, creating some unnecessarily newfangled code that the world simply did not need. No, no: today's beefaroni simply made bazillions by getting us - the average you and Is of the world - to author his work for him. Today's highlighted fleshfest had a brilliant idea, geniusly used the already created brilliant idea the wiki (and fine-tuning it ever so finely, I might add), and created the largest mass-written information source on the entire planet. That's right, I'm talking about Wikipedia inventor Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales. Love it or hate it, you wish you thought of Wikipedia, which is singlehandedly changing the way nearly each and every Internet user finds quick and easy probably usually mainly accurate information, and, besides all that, none of us can fault Jimbo for being so damn sexy. Mmmm. So, today we take a respite from the straight up coding dream machines of the world, and we are paying homage to a different brand of programmer. Today we shall lust after a Wikiwack Wale Tale.

I know you're sweating, too - that's right; it's hot in here. You're parched; I'm parched, and we all know from the sexy Wikipedia entry on dehydration that it's time to get a little quenching up in this piece. Well, here are a few SALACIOUS SIPS of our mouthwatering drink, Jimmy Wales. Don't drink too fast, or your head'll spin. Now, ladies and gentlemen. Grab a straw and suck this down. Enjoy.

1) That's right, Jimmy: Knowledge is Sexy - Growing up in Huntsville, Alabama, our h-h-h-hottie went to school in a one room schoolhouse with three other kids in his grade (is there any doubt who the classroom stud was?!), and he loved to get his lusty learn-on poring over the volumes of World Books and Encyclopedia Britannicas in the school. While undoubtedly no tome in his possession back in the day would have an entry for the Mr. World pageant, Wikipedia does, and though Jimbo isn't a contestant, he's my sexy write-in candidate for the job. I can't think of a more smokin' representative in all the land. You've already won the title in my private contest, Jimmy.

2) Oh, Jimmy: I'll gladly be stranded with you on an island - anytime, anywhere - He's a man after my own affections. You know what he isn't? He isn't one of those wah-wah-the television-is-rotting-all-of-our-brains- buzzkillers. No - our Wondeful Wales enjoys the tv, and he's a Lostaholic, too! His amazing Wikia community even hosts a super awesome Lost site. My mind is literally numb right now imagining the scenario in which I am sitting back, theorizing on Lost theories while Jimbo is simultaneously theorizing on Lost theories, and I am theorizing on Jimbo's own Lost theories. It is too much to even consider. Does Jimbo think Ben is really a good guy at his very core, just as I do? Does Jimbo believe that Sawyer is too good for Kate, just like I believe in my heart? My mind wobbles. All I know is, there is yet more proof that my next last name is meant to be Wales.

3) Jimmy, my love: You are solely responsible for hands-down the most entertaining Wikipedia entry in the history of Wikipedia entries. Consider this, my friends: this is on his very own invented website. I know you'll love this as much as I do. I'll just let you read this excerpt and enjoy: "Wales had a brief relationship with Canadian journalist Rachel Marsden that began after Marsden contacted Wales about her Wikipedia biography. After accusations that Wales' relationship constituted a conflict of interest, Wales announced in March 2008 on his Wikipedia user page (and later to his personal blog) that there had been a relationship but that it was over and that it had not influenced any matters on Wikipedia. In return, Marsden, who claimed to have learned about the breakup by reading about it on Wikipedia, turned to eBay and listed for auction a T-shirt and sweater which she claimed Wales left behind at her apartment." That's right - our lothario broke up with her on Wikipedia. And then she did this:
I love lovers' spats. Especially when they end up with my lovemuffin Jimmy a single man.

4) Dear, sweet Jimmy: All we care about is you, yet all you care about is everyone else! - Our resident humanitarian hotness simply wants to impart some knowledge. Is that so wrong? If anything about Jimmy is wrong, we don't want to be right. You know what is right? What Juicy Jimmy wants you to know. He says, "people need to have access to fundamental neutral information to empower them to make better decisions politically, in their own personal lives." Well, Wales for Pres, I say! And, Wales in my own person life, too, please! Gulp!

5) Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy: you hot bearded young thing of the MTV generation. You're best friends with a former Real Worlder - and not a lame one like Trishelle or Puck or CT, but Irene, the curly haired one who had lyme disease and left the show with her teddy bear floating in the cold waters of Seattle, but with her pride in check and her head held high. You know what Irene says about our Jimbo? This: "He can meet somebody really fancy and he could meet somebody who nobody would recognize and tell the story as if it's the same." Here's what I'm thinking: Jimmy - howsabout you come meet me. I'll give you a story to tell. And, don't worry - I don't even have lyme disease.

I could go on and on about our joyous Jim. I could edit and re-edit my entry. But, I'll leave you to do your own searches for our Wikiking. All hail Wonderful Wales. He brought Sexy Programmer Thursday back with the thunder. And, we thank him for that.

visit here, alright?: humor-blogs.com

5 comments:

Alice said...

I was all about Jimmy and getting ready to buy the poster until I found out he befriended a RealWorlder. I guess I'll just settle on the pics on your post now.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

This is such a great series...

Meg said...

Yes, he is hot. But I suspect he's gay.

When you're done drooling, hop over to my current post. I've joined "Bloggers Unite for Human Rights." You'll see a softer side of Meg-soft of.

Oh, and, I've added your eggsalady to my links. It's go great with the mix.

what's a donzer said...

I have MISSED you! I have been so freaking out of the loop that I feel like I have missed the births of all of your triplets or something. Anyways, hopefully I am back for a while.

Oh, Alice. Aren't we all merely a couple Cuervo shots and a shameful evening away from befriending Coral or Eric Nies, really?

Thanks, suburban. Programming studs are my life's motivation.

I'm on my way, Meg. I seriously feel so behind, like the internet was invented while I was away or something. Oh, and, thank you for adding me. It makes me feel like I just opened a present.

Yippee!

Freddy said...

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo glad you are back!!!!
What a joy to find out that my home away from home - Wikipedia was created by that hot beefaroni stud! I hope he's a swinger, cause I want me some of that!