It's time to take a jaunt down the old lanes o' me memory. Watching lil Cornflake toddle about seems to make me wax philosophical about the good old days when aaaaahhh, life, she was a simpler time. Join me, won't you, for an historical tour of love.
Google, you are a tricky mistress, indeed. Because you are giving me such a hard time finding pictures of all my former real-life in-person crushes (By the way, Jonathan Risner of my 1st grade class at Oak View Elementary: you seem to be doing really well for yourself these days. Good for you.), and I know how absolutely essential it is to put a face with a name, I decided that this Super Spectacular Holy Hotness Excursion will be strictly celeb.
First Stop - The First Crush That Lights the Corners of My Mind - The Marlboro Man, mustache version only. Who didn't suspect this one? I actually remember being three - four tops - and sitting in a McDonalds staring at a mustachioed man I thought was my rugged hero, plucked from the pages of my mom's Life magazine heavensent to the Golden Arches to ride me off into the sunset. Come to where the flavor is, indeed. [sidenote: Upon first meeting my friend Becky's dad, I couldn't help but be reminded of my very first crush. Don't worry, Becky; by the time I reached 15 I had long since moved on to the sexy mystique of the Drakkar Noir guy instead.]
Fourth Stop - Superhunk Number Four - Michael J. Fox. Right, right. I know. So cliche'. But he is the reason I watched Midnight Madness and High School, USA two hundred sixty seven times each. And, I have no qualms in admitting that I heralded the Republican party for so long because of you, Alex P. Keaton. And then you went and blew my mind when you turned into our Teen Wolf. My God, if you shunned Pamela Wells and picked bore-zo "Boof" in the end, obviously you would have gone for seven year old me! I even held on when you had to go and stretch your wings and make Light of Day - by far one of the blowiest movies ever. Oh, Michael, who else could have pulled off a successful foil for "actress" Joan Jett in that suckfest of a movie besides you? No one! That's who!
2 comments:
How on earth do you remember that many crushes? Alex Booth in 3rd grade, Andrew Lane in 6th...and who can forget the lead singer of Aha in 2nd, but that is where my memory bank dumps.
Hahaha! Like anyone could ever forget Tubbs. His green eyes are forever etched in my memory.
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