Did you know Kansas is the sunflower state?

Well, this is going to seem a little weird. In commemoration of the upcoming sugery I am having on Wednesday, I was going to find some song lyrics that would , you know, commemorate the occasion. The problem is, the surgery is on my tongue (don't ask; it involves some wisdom teeth yanking gone awry. Perhaps seek an oral surgeon instead of a dentist for this procedure. Just a tip. Anyways....). It's on my lingual nerve, specifically, but, yeah, on my tongue. So, upon searching "tongue lyrics" on my homeboy Google, I found a lotta mess that doesn't really say "commemoration" to me.

Here's Seether's contribution: Well the tongue inside my mouth is not for sale; Any spirit left in me is fading fast;Could you throw another stone to ease my pain?;Could you throw another stone to seal my fate? For some reason, this makes me think of Hugh Grant holding giant earphones over his ears while sobbing listening to this. I dunno. Damien Rice and REM both provided songs named "Tongue", neither of which feature the word "tongue." The following is brought to us courtesy of one of my grandmother's favorites, Danny Kaye: "And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung; If you insist you want to try a lisp;Then step up mister and twist your tongue;Twista felt Twister was trying to whistle;But Twister had twisted his tongue." I can't help but feel mainly if not entirely dirty after reading those words. Yet, that didn't make me feel quite so unclean as I felt reading EVERY OTHER song about tongues out there. [sidenote: Remember sweet Sisqo and his dear little ballad about the thong? Well, there is some woman named Trina out there who went and further soiled The Dragon's lyrics, creating words that I am far too young to read. Don't believe me? See for yourself, but, I warned you! I'll provide no link for your degradation, but, you, too, know how to use my homeboy Google.]

Anyway, instead of any of these debacles that try to pass for music, I decided instead, to commemorate my upcoming surgery by examining the most famous lyrics of one of the most distinguished [cough. excuse me.] bands of all time: Kansas.

Without further adieu, I give you Dust In the Wind:

1st Verse:I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone ...All my dreams __pass before my eyes, a curiosity ...Dust in the Wind. All they are is dust in the wind.

2nd Verse: Same old song, ... just a drop of water in an endless sea.All we do ... crumbles to the ground .. though we refuse to see.Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.

Interlude: Oh. ho, ho

3rd Verse: Now don't hang on, -- nothing lasts forever except the earth and sky.It slips away, ... and all your money won't another minute buy.Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.Dust in the wind. Everything is dust in the wind.The wind.(Ad lib vocal)

Holy crap of all crapfests! I was going to even analyze these lyrics, but I think it would be more poignant if you would do it yourself. And I LOVE this song! Wow. I, oddly, seriously feel so okay about this surgery after being crapped on by this crap. Nothing could have commemorated the lingual tongue operation better. Eat that, Trina.