Monday, July 26, 2010

Little Golden Books Can Teach Us So Much.

Once upon a time, in a wondrous and magical land

lived a lovely mommy and a handsome daddy.
They were so wonderfully, joyously happy that everyone called them
The mommy and daddy loved each other so very much that one day
their magical love made an angelic little baby girl named Lindsay.

And, my goodness, was that little Lindsay ever precocious!
Why, she could be a star! So Mommy had a wonderful idea!

the family hitched their

to their little shining star?

So they did.

And, they moved to a faraway land, but - boy howdy -
Mommy and Daddy did not know that they were moving their family to the

And, holy tomatoes, if the whole lot of them didn't get lost in that crazy new land!

And our Lindsay began to get
for her little britches.
And everyone thought that our gal really ought to mind her

Jeepers! Did she ever act out! Sometimes all we saw was a

Oh, my!
But, our friend Lindsay would just say

Boy, oh boy, was she ever acting like a
And, soon, our little

Uh oh!

sweet Lindsay wanted to
Soon, she had a 
in every city.  The poor dear was a mess!
What a

 At the same time, our friend decided she no longer wanted a
For, she had decided to be a happy
(not that there's anything wrong with that!)
Well, our girl's behavior was getting her into a jam, because she wasn't acting like a

And, one night, she got in a really big pickle.  Instead of finding
 she played 

and got in a really big mess!

 What a sad tale!  But, that sweet family
and every night I say my
 that that sweet family will live happily together again.

The End.


cory said...

All I have to say is Bravo Donzer, Bravo!

Actually... I do have one other thing to say. No crotch shot? Really? I know Britney deserves credit for blazing the trail (blazing the happy-trail, if you will), but Lohan perfected it. A miss opportunity on your part, I do believe.

Little boy with a Big Horn said...

Whoa whoa whoa, Ms. Donzer. The part of the story I don't like is that the little girl gave up free-basing for Snort after 5 years. She didn't take up meth or anything, she just sucked on the hooch like a goon and waited. That father's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your daughter gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking talk show to sell out to!

C. Cocksedge said...

Wow! What a great story! It really goes to show that if you apply yourself, you can really go far. Yes, you....or Lindsey, whatever.

what's a donzer said...

Haha. No crotch shot here; leave that for that weird text message entitled "Hey, Cory. This is My Junk" you got from some dude named Jim.

Lbw/aBH: I could not agree more. I guess he thought his gal was seemingly getting so much banana, she didn't need no (proverbial talk show) snack pack.