Buenos Hotness, señoras y caballeros. Welcome, one and all, to the spiciest, steamiest, most salacious day of the week in which all of your naughtiest natural language processing desires will be fulfilled. That's right, aficionados of the arousing: it's Sexy Programmer Thursday! Words cannot express just how godlike this week's codeus superbeus truly is. Today's recipient is worthy of an entire month - no! - an entire year devoted to his special brand of sexy. Alas, we only have a week to share, but it will be one wonderfine week. So enough with the buildup; come get a taste of this sweet pastry of the program.
Our stud of the week is only pretty much responsib
le for the entire computer revolution in the free world. If I had been in Eden, I would have taken a bite of this Apple, too - the (co)founder of Apple, that is, none other than Slammin' Steve Wozniak. That other Apple cofounder may be more famous (to the amateurish masses, of course), but in the tournament of hotness, competitor Steve Jobs - you just got jobbed! The only golden delicious Apple people want to have in their pie is of the Wozniak variety. Mmm. Now that's tastetastic.
Our warrior Wozniak is the Renaissance man defined - there are simply too many fascinating details about our stud to even come close to scratching the surface of his sexy. But, here are just a few BREATHTAKING BITES about our mack of the Mac.
1) He rides a Segway the Sexyway. Our boy Steve is a studly member of Segway Polo (yeah - th
at's like horse polo or water polo, but awesome) team the Silicon Valley Aftershocks. He's even the namesake of the hottest titlematch out there - the Woz Challenge Cup. This year's championship will take place in that sizzlin' hotbed, Indianapolis, on August 7 - 9. Count me in. You know what? I'll be feeling Steve's aftershocks for a long time to come.
2) He is an On-fire Inventor Extraordinaire. Along with practically patenting smokin' hot, at the ripe young age of eleven, Wozniak created his own
amateur radio station, surely controlling the airwaves of love. In sixth grade he dominated his science fair competitors with his prize winning tic-tac-toe playing machine. Oh! X can get this square! He also built a calculator at 13 and, oh yeah, his first computer that same year. He was in the hottest techno inventor club around, the Homebrew Computer Club, where he brought in the hotness, and, right, the Apple I and Apple II.
He is a G-g-g-Gorgeous Giver, not a taker. And how! Wozalicious doesn't just make hella bank, he donates hella bank, too. More importantly, he gives his precious time to those in need. Read his own angelic musings: " I thought, you know what? Giving away money when you have an excess of it isn't really where your head should be if your heart's there. You have to show it by giving your time, so that led me into teaching young fifth graders, something I'd decided I was going to do back in sixth grade, teaching young fifth graders and then older students and then finally teachers. I wound up teaching seven days a week for about seven or eight years." Oh, Stevie: I have a thing or two to learn - perhaps you have could make time to tutor a girl in need?
